


"well jesus christ, i'm not scared to die,"

by zacefronspants



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AUish, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 18:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17606921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zacefronspants/pseuds/zacefronspants
Summary: allison reflects about the first time she kissed lydia.





	"well jesus christ, i'm not scared to die,"

**Author's Note:**

> we die like men because i wrote this in three hours and didnt proof read it. i am so sorry for this.

Allison sees it before she felt it; the arrow soars straight towards her and pierces her stomach and suddenly she feels  _ hotcoldhotcoldhotcold  _ all over. She's dying, she knew long before she hears Scott roar and Lydia scream. Allison feels her legs starting to shake and something warm pool down her clothes,  _ blood,  _ she thinks and Allison wonders for a moment if dying is really like all the books and movies and songs make it sound like. She counts to thirteen, always thirteen because her mother always said, “Give yourself a few more seconds to feel.” And it's not enough to stop the icy hot feeling that's clawing itself up and down her spine and the deep rooted smell of iron that's filling her mouth and nose every time she breathes. 

Alison knows she hasn't been lying there long when she feels soft hands pulling her up right and cradling her head against a chest that smells like sweat, cherry blossoms and Allison's blood. She knows it's Lydia, scratching her scalp and begging her to keep her eyes open. But Allison is tired, her fingers are numb and her toes are chilled, she just wants to sleep. “Do you remember the first time I kissed you, Lydia?” Allison asks, voice thick with mucus and blood. She hears Lydia sob a laugh out and whisper that she does. Allison grins as best she can and thinks about it.

Thinks about how soft and warm Lydia’s lips felt on hers, how good she tasted when the initial shock wore off and Lydia kissed Allison back and whispered, “I'm finally home.” Because Lydia had told her, one night when the sky was blood orange and they had drank far too much that she felt restless. That Lydia had wanted a home so very badly. And Allison remembers, with a melancholy fondness that Lydia made a home in her.

Allison, squints her eyes up at Lydia and says, “I'm very tired, baby doll.” And in that instant Allison sees Lydia naked and shivering and gripping onto Stiles' jacket begging Allison to make the voices and the screams stop and Allison feels everything all at once whenever Lydia grips her closer and says, “You don't feel cold, bug. But I'll keep the cold out.” They don't talk for long moments; Allison shivering and fighting the heaviness in her eyes and Lydia promising to learn the crossbow properly.

Allison can feel her breathing slowing down, can feel her eyes closing for longer each time she blinks. She looks up at Lydia and says, so soft, “I've always loved you. Ever since you looked me up and down and pulled me down the hall. Please don't forget me.” Allison let's her eyes close and doesn't feel anything after that.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is togxpi


End file.
